She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
