I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Blood and glitter go together right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
