my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
