I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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