are you so shy because you have an std?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
