rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
