I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
babies were throwing up all over the place
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
try to milk me bitch
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