dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
