did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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