But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
