we have pet lesbian snakes
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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