How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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