There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I faked an abortion last night.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
