I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
