We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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