What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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