some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
