i permit you to call me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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