I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
