I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
