AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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