so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
