I just pynch a tree in the face
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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