24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize