so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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