well you can't waste a boner
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
