He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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