Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
