my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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