Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
