Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
