can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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