I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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