It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
