stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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