Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
