just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
