just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
