Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
