May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize