I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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