I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
