If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
