He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
