I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
