you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
