we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
