"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
