Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
