The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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