He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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