sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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