guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
