No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
