doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
