i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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