Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
