I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Farmville is her only friend.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
