I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
